Out of the blue, an acquaintance texted me, saying it would be interesting to know my thoughts on some questions she had. They really got me thinking, and the answers I gave refined and made my thoughts, ideals, and values in life ever more strong. I am thankful to that person. Here are the three questions she asked:
Is it worth being humble in today’s world?
To me, being humble is being yourself, your “good” self. Staying away from secrets, lies, ego, jealousy, and obligations is a way of being humble. Whatever you are is for yourself first. Not for others. To realize this is very important. When thinking of someone’s nature or character, people immediately think of how they behave toward others, but that’s not the point. When you are rational and respect yourself enough, you will automatically know how to behave with and treat people around you. Personally, I don’t believe in “living for others” (both for others’ opinions or for their benefit). You came into this world an individual. There’s no one like you. You are your priority. The moment you deviate yourself from your natural thoughts and impulses to do something for someone else, you lose your identity. So treating or accepting yourself as being inferior to something doesn’t really make sense to me. Because one thing no one else in this world is capable of doing is being you.
I feel very strongly about staying yourself. Because I have remained me no matter what, and people keep asking me how I do it. I don’t do anything actually. They deviate from who they are, so they see the difference.
Do toxic people get away with everything, and not face the consequence?
That is the general belief. You know, I hear people always say “bad things happen to good people and the toxic ones get away.” That is total BS. Nothing in the world happens based on the quality of people. It just happens, naturally. People just say it because someone they like died and someone they hate lives. So what I think is this: Toxic people are that way by choice, and the consequence they face is continuing to be so, which is the worst. They will be despised and hated by many for as long as they remain that way. That’s definitely a bitter prospect for life.
Being disliked and disgusted by people is the worst thing that can happen to anybody. They constantly have that. Maybe they don’t see it in front of their eyes, but it’s always there. Not knowing how many people hate your guts is another consequence. So yeah, they are their own punishment.
What do you do when you want something so desperately but don’t get it?
That which you can do nothing about isn’t worth worrying about.
This statement applies to anything that can make us sad, angry, fearful, irritated, or desperate. Desperation is a negative feeling, and it is mostly for things that are not destined for or that do not correspond to the life one is leading. Because if something is on its way to you, as a result of your deeds, then you won’t be desperate for it in the first place. It is like respect is some ways. When you seek respect, you will mostly get the opposite. You have to earn it. And that you do only in an indirect way. Just as you cannot demand someone to respect you but have to act in a way that will get you the respect, being desperate about things will not bring them to you. You need to act, go do the things that will automatically lead the object/subject to you. But with a focus on yourself and what you are doing. Desperation is closely linked to hopeless situations. Do you really want to be stuck in that? No. Start working on yourself and the things you love to do. Because when you put enough love into what you are doing, you will not have time to feel desperate about anything because you are completely satisfied with the company of doing what you love. The world will notice it and happiness you did not go after will find its way to you.
Remember that you cannot be dependent on the opinions, approval, or appreciation of others all the time. If you do that, you have lost who you are. They are all secondary, or should not be on your list at all. Your approval and opinion about yourself is most important. You are the most important thing to you. That’s why people around are called “others.” They are completely unimportant. Next time you feel desperate for something, just think: is it really something you need? can’t live without? Mostly the answer will be “no.” So there you go.
© Nitya Swaruba
Eternal Realm 
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